From the article: The Islamic Marriage Contract
The process of signing an Islamic marriage contract is usually a private affair, involving only the immediate families of the bride and groom. Each party is responsible for determining contract "conditions" and the appropriate mahr (bridal gift). How much was your mahr? What conditions did you and your spouse add to the contract? Reading examples can help others when they are faced with this major decision. Share Your Example
- I have been married for nearly ten years. I have two children, I've never met my inlaws in a nice manner (they shout abuse at me in streets) but no other communication. My husband hides us away from them. Husband does not live with me or provide for me and kids maybe when he feels like being generous. I don't ever argue with him I just keep quiet. He only comes when he wants to come and do one thing. Everyone tells me I'm silly for not getting a divorce, but I love him and I've been waiting for him to change. I don't have any family support I only have a few friends. I'm not sleeping properly and kids are getting upset as well. I just don't know what to do anymore. If I ask him anything he says I'm giving him a headache, so I just remain quiet and give in to him. [Moderator advice: He will not change, especially as he has no incentive to change. You deserve better. There are grounds for divorce for the simple fact that he is not providing for you and the children. I repeat, you deserve better. Take a careful look at why you haven't demanded your rights from him. Do you feel trapped with nowhere to go, or friends/family for support? You are already living independently, it sounds like, so make it official and move on with your life, for your sake and your children. Marriage in Islam is not about getting what you want, without any responsibilities in return. He's mooching off you and will continue to do so, until you put your foot down.]
- —Guest jk
- I am working in Saudi Arabia and I converted to Islam for almost 6 months..and my girlfriend converted also for almost 3 months. Both of us want to settle for good and we want to get married in Islam. My question is, we don't have a certificate that proves we are muslim or converted. What can we do so we can marry each other....
- —Guest malek
- Salam, I am a revert though I studied for many years before reverting but I am in a situation I am unsure. My mother is non muslim, doesn't follow any religion. I was introduced to a very nice man and for a couple weeks we talked a lot and even went on a few outings even though we knew it was haram, our intentions were good. Now we want to take the next step and make it the halal way by doing the Islamic marriage. Not live together though just allow us to see each other. We are very sure about each other already but still we need more time together. Firstly can we do the Islamic marriage only verbally with the 2 of us for it to be legit though we're not ready to announce it? Secondly, if things work out insha allah they will, can my mother be a witness and sign as I have no Muslim family and no close male family members. Some sheikh will not allow this I have been told? Can we do the official contract when we are ready after doing it verbally? Also can the mahr be altered to be more?
- —Guest Anonymous
- I am 18 years of age and my significant other and I have been together for half a year. We decided to get married for the sake of Allah. I am a new Muslim and hope to really stay in love with my religion like my significant other. I feel as though we may be moving too fast but if we don't not get married it is considered a sin because we are constantly ready to move further into this relationship. What shall I do!?
- —Guest bree
No consent from woman's family
- I am 25 years old muslima. I want to be married to this Muslim man but my family disapproved about it because we belong to different cultures and though we have same race, our family practices are different. My culture only allows getting married to a man of same culture. I asked for my father's approval but he swore to God that he will never give his consent to the marriage because it will be shame on our clan. I defended him by stating that he is a good Muslim, good provider, good person and he loves me just the way I love him but he still refuses. How can I get married when I cannot take any of my family member to be my wali?
- —Guest Su
On my own and betrayed
- As Salaamu Alaikum...My husband and I have been married only a month and a couple of days now but we been together for 8yrs and we have 5 children. The day after we got married we started arguing. He doesn't come home. He cheats and he says he wants a divorce but has yet to divorce me. my mensus done came and went and he still has not divorced me. I don't want a divorce because I love him and I want it to get better, but he doesn't want Islamic counseling either. What should I do from here?
- —Guest Nusaybah
- After 30 years of marriage my husband took another wife. Seven years ago we made plans to return to U.S. where our 4 children live. I came first and he to follow which he never did. He deceitfully found a woman to marry under the pretense of her being just a maid. They married islamically with a contract supposedly that she is not entitled to any of his assets and living in Jerusalem it is not a legal marriage, although I assume it is Islamically since it was in front of a sheikh. Question is what rights does she have under this situation and what rights do I have. I can't give more details since I can only go by what he says and most have been lies. He also says in 2 years he will divorce her and move here to U.S. with me to retire.
Verbal Islamic marriage?
- My husband and I got married under Islamic rights. During the marriage, he didnot give me any mahr or dowry. After sometime, I was asking for papers as proof that our marriage is legal. I am newly converted to Muslim. He explained to me that our marriage is under verbal marriage and valid even without documents and it is acceptable in islam. Is it true? Then how can I be sure that we really are married? What is my assurance of this marriage?
- —Guest ayesha
Islamic marriage certificate valid?
- I got married in New York 4 years ago and now my husband is telling everybody that we were just girlfriend and boyfriend. My marriage was in Islamic Center and I have a certificate. Is that a valid certificate to ask for my rights?
- —Guest khadija
2nd marriage after abandonment
- Salam, I'm a Muslim woman. Six years ago my father make my nikah with my cousin. The day after nikah I left my country and came to Europe. But my husband lives in my country and he did not make any contact with me, even in our holy occasions like Eid. Now I love someone and I want to marry him. That's why I sent a divorce letter to my 1st but he did not give me divorce. He didn't agree and after a long time waiting I made sunnat anikah with my lover and we live together. In that case what does Islam say? Please, please let me know.
- —Guest rehana
Advice for troubled marriage
- Both of you guys need to sit down and just be honest with each other. For example you could say, "** I love you so much, I really want us to work this out. I want to do everything in my power to keep our love alive. That is why we need to start talking about our emotions, how we are feeling, our problems so we can fix them baby. You know why I want to fix it babe, it's because I love you from the bottom of my heart. I know when I tell you I love you, you think it's a normal thing. But I want you to believe it baby every time. I can't see myself with anybody else, only you. So what do you say, you want to fix this? Let us know what happens.
- —Guest JMkowGecfRdygU
Revert with Christian husband
- Salaam Alaikum. I reverted to Islam in January 2012. My Christian Husband has petitioned for divorce but won't actually finish this. Please help, I don't know what to do. I just lost my lawyer because I got strong with her for not doing anything for me. My husband has left me without support of any kind and is now living with another woman in our marital home with our children. He has turned our girls against me when we shared a most beautiful relationship all of their lives. I have no one to help me. I stand firm in my belief in Allah, I just need some help to finish this so that I can begin to live again in freedom.
- —Guest Didi
- I am married, and my husband who's not a Muslim won't give me a divorce. The man I want to marry is Islamic. Can he and I get married in the laws of Islam, and would it be legal? [Guide Response: My understanding is that Muslim or not, you must be divorced from your first husband before marrying again in Islam. However, please check with Islamic leaders in your country about local laws.]
- —Guest reaka
- I would like a copy of the contract if possible. Thank you.
- —Guest Floyd guidry
- I am in Australia and I would like to know if it is normal or acceptable for a christian woman to marry a Muslim man without the woman's parents knowing? I am in possession of a copy of certificate of Islamic marriage and dowry for my deceased daughter. I find it very odd that she would not have told me, or wanted me at this marriage. She never resided with him after the 'marriage'. The mahr is a 'ring'? A close friend of my daughter (dec) has told me, my daughter was not allowed to tell me of the marriage, and her friend was also told she was not welcome to witness it. I find this appalling and would like to know your thoughts please. Also who would normally sign as a witness on the certificate? [Guide Feedback: I have replied to you via private email. I am very sorry for your loss. -Huda]
- —Guest shocked
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